The great 21st century poet, Aubrey Drake Graham, once said the words, “You only live once, that’s the motto nigga YOLO.” Despite the craziness in today’s literary pieces known as rap music, Aubrey Drake Graham does make a valid point: you only live once so you have to enjoy everything in life.
Case in point, a year ago, I’d decided to seriously work on past issues that have been blocking me from enjoy life. Most of those issues were previously discussed, such as failed relationships(Why Am I Single:The Raw and Uncut Answer) and body issues(Watch Out For The Thickboys,), still there are others issues that I’m not ready to address publicly. However, these issues were and are being handled(and will soon become a blog post).
The most difficult obstacle for me was actually staring at myself in the mirror. I was really on some Michael Jackson Man in the Mirror shit: I’m starting with the man in the mirror, I’m asking him to change his ways. And no message can’t get any clearer. If you want to make the world a better place, you better look at yourself a make change.
Most have heard the saying, “The eyes are the windows to a person’s soul.” I didn’t like the reflection in the mirror and I had difficulty looking myself in the eye. My reflection and eyes presented a horrible montage of every negative aspect of my life. All the sadness, the hurt, the disappointments, the resentments, and the anger flashed right before me. I knew it was time for me to get my house in order.
Since that bleak August day, I made it my responsibility to enjoy life. It was time for me to repair my “life credit report” and reestablish my “credit worthiness” to the world. We all have a “life credit report”. This credit report has nothing to do with your FICO and credit scores like Equifax, Transunion, or Experian, however your life credit report does give you the opportunity to look at all your past due account, inverse/negative accounts, and monitor any claims of identity theft. And your life credit report is complimentary nor does it require free thirty day sign up on a website, your life credit report lasts a lifetime.
The first step in repairing my life credit report, I had to acknowledge all the past dues and mentally erase them from my head. This step requires forgiving all the people who have done you wrong and forgiving yourself for holding on to those issues. Forgiveness isn’t about other people, it’s about you making steps to going on with your life. My mom always say to me, “Jimmie(She does not call me that btw), why give power to those people, who are not thinking about you? They’ve moved on with their lives and you haven’t. Let that go.”
Next, I have to address the negative actions against me. I realized that my spirit screamed negativity. Subconsciously anyway. I never smiled. Screwface omnipresent. Always had negative things to say about everything and everyone, including myself. Negative Nancy. My negative energy was attracting other negative energy, including associates, lovers, and adversaries.
In checking my negativity, I began to distance myself from other negative environments including friends and family. Next I began to read books on spiritually and self-evaluation learning about presenting positivity to society. Since then, positivity has been overflowing and I’ve been achieving my goals. Not saying that I’m the most positive muthafucka on the planet, but my positive spirit has helped me appreciate all the blessing received and expecting. When Jesus says yes, nobody can’t say no.
After addressing my past dues and negative actions, it was time for me to take back my identity. I no longer wanted to be known as a victim of my past. I no longer wanted other people’s perception of me become my reality. I wanted the old Jimmie back. The Jimmie who like to have fun in any environment. The Jimmie who was quick-witted a la Bianca Del Rio from RuPaul’s Drag Race. The Jimmie who would Mary-bop to any 90s R&B record. In all honesty, that Jimmie was sometimes a stranger to me. After all, I was to busy sulking in past due accounts of my past and interacting with Negative Nancys. One I let go of that “Victim” title and became a “Survivor,” my self love increased and I began to see, despite the hardships and the bullshit the world places on you, life is still beautiful if you allow it to be.
Once your life credit report is repaired, your desires, goals, and needs will come..in time. Blessings come when you least expect it. One of the blessings I’ve received is finally going on a vacation that didn’t require me to drive or work at the destination. My rebirth has allowed me to the enjoy the beauty of life and the world. Cross country at that. I’ve finally conquered my fear of flying. More importantly, having the opportunity to take time for myself and celebrate my joy. All I really wanted was to be happy and I’m finally getting there. Speaking positivity into existence. Now all really want is to have my student loans paid off, a financially successful blog, and a good dude with excellent sex. Now ya’ll know I had to add some humor to this article.