I’ve been looking for Trade in all the wrong places. I’ve been looking for Trade in awkward situations. I’ve been encountering Trade with MAC Cosmetics on their faces. I’ve been looking for Trade in all the wrong places.
Trade. The DL dude. The one eye fucking you while he’s holding hands with his baby’s moms at the mall. The man on top of the gay hierarchy because he’s unattainable, unclockable, and doesn’t look stereotypically gay. You know the shit that black gay porn fantasies are made of.
Unlike the Trade you see in gay porn, you will not catch real Trade in the punk bar feeling themselves like Bey and Nicki. The only ball real Trade will attend are basketball and football sporting events. However, they do notice the asses on Larry Fitzgerald and Carmelo Anthony.
Finding Trade in the Black Gay Capital of the World, Atlanta, takes knowledge and leaving the comforts of Buckhead and Atlantic Station. You have to go outside of the Perimeter to find these men or go to the hoods of East Point and Riverdale.
Real Atlanta Trade doesn’t live about I-20. The only exceptions are Stone Mountain, Memorial Drive, and Bankhead Highway. If he doesn’t live in those areas, more than likely he has an “old lady” that he lives with or he’s potentially a thug queen. Category: Butch Queen Up in Thug Drag.
Picking up Trade doesn’t take much, but it will be a challenge. The “nigga nod”, the gaze, and mouthing of “Wassup” is all you need as an icebreaker. You just gotta go to the right destination. Ready for the Trade Hunt?
Before I spill Trade secrets, I must lay down four Trade Commandments because like Meek Mill says, they are some levels to this shit.
- Discretion is a must. You don’t want the trade to scatter like roaches when they see you walk in. So no cameras, no extraness, and leave your loud Judy at home.
- Be prepared to fight and run at all costs. Dealing with Trade, Down lows, or anyone who doesn’t identify as being gay can be dangerous so be extra careful. No need to lose your life over dick. Take a can of pepper spray if needed. This also means leaving your valuables and wallet in the car.
- Do not catch feelings for Trade. He isn’t going to leave his “old lady” for you. After all, he’s not with that “Gay Shit dawg.”
- Don’t expect any reciprocity. Trade is only trying to get his nut, point blank and the period. So don’t expect him to give you head, a kiss, a hug, or wait for you to get your nut. Not even a McDonald’s Happy Meal.
Please recite and memorize those four commandments as you go on your Trade Hunt and explore the following places to look for Atlanta trade. Disclaimer: I will not be giving out addresses because let’s be clear, I’m not doing free advertisement for no one. However, the names are for you to Google and locate the address.
TOP 5 PLACE TO FIND ATLANTA TRADE
- Dugans on Ponce-It’s something about those colorful variations of the Long Island Iced Teas and those lemon peppered chicken wings that makes all the Trade go crazy in this sports bar. Known as DL Dugans, trade will be waiting for you at the door like Miss Foxxy said but how you can tell? The Wobble and the Biker Shuffle line dances will be there mating call. It’s something about those two lines dances that make the trade “mistakenly” rub their hard penises on you while you’re dancing.
- The 24 hour Korean Spa– Legend has it that trade and DL men frequent the Korean Spa after midnight on the weekends. Looking for a free peep show? go to the Korean Spa. Wanna get steamy and hot with a plethora of naked men? Go to the Korean Spa. Want to have a hot jack session in the sauna/steam room with the straight man of your dreams? Allegedly, the Korean Spa is where it’s at.
- The Straight Club(Girl What?!!!)-Here’s a little secret for you: there is more DL men in the straight clubs any punk bar in Atlanta. How do you attract trade in straight club without being a female impersonator you ask? Trade will actually approach you either at the bar or at the urinal in the men’s bathroom. He will more than likely ask you to go this car with him and ya’ll will get business in the club parking lot. Yes I know, it’s risky. However, but I’ve heard it’s a major turn on to do it the back of his 2009 Chevy Impala in the public places.
- Cumberland & Greenbriar Malls. Infamously known for their Vine video shoots, these two mall are Trade Central. Any mall that has Girbaud jeans, multiple sneaker stores, and a barbershop attract no drawls wearing trade like flies to watermelon. The best time to go to these malls are on government check day or when the new Jordans are being released.
- The Atlanta Airport Bathroom–Rumor has it you can find your pastor, deacon, local congressman, and former high school teacher getting it in with trade at the world’s busiest airport. Be careful, trade could be an undercover police and the last thing you want to be label as is a registered sex offender.
I must stress that when going trade hunting, safety is your main priority. As men, we like the chase and challenge of enticing the unattainable. Like everything in life, there are some consequences to your choices and you will soon realize that butch queen that has a crush on you was a better option than dealing with Trade. Happy Trade Hunting.
Disclaimer: This article was meant for satirical purposes only.
Are you attracted to DL Men or Trade? What do you find attractive about them? Do you know of any places to meet trade in your area? Share them below.