My partner and I have been together for 3 years and we recently got engaged. However, I’ve been keeping a huge secret from him. I’ve been cheating on my partner with a woman for the past five months. No I don’t love her, nor do I want to have a relationship with her and she’s knows that I’m in a relationship with a man and she’s cool with that. However, there is another issue at hand. She’s currently six weeks pregnant with my child.
I don’t want to leave my partner because he’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me, however I don’t want to abandon the mother of my unborn child. What do you think I should do?- Mr. Surf and Turf.
I’m going to start with the positive. I commend you for being honest with your female side piece about your sexuality and I also commend you for being responsible as a prospective father. I genuinely hope you will continue to be stand up guy when it comes to your child. So here’s a cookie and a gold star for you.
Dude, you’re in some deep cow shit with this dilemma and no amount of scrubbing, soaking, soap suds, or pre-treating gonna wipe away the shit you’ve stepped in. Not only have you been cheating on your fiance’, but you cheated on your fiance’ with someone of the opposite sex and brought back a consolation prize called a child.
If your partner is the best thing that’s ever happen to you, you owe it to him to be honest. What I find amazing, without judgement, is that you were able to be honest with a random woman about you having sex with men but you weren’t able to be honest with the man you planned on spending the rest of your life with? Like i said, #nojudgment.
I predict the outcome of you telling your fiance’ the truth will not be all roses. In fact, it will change your relationship forever. Your partner has to deal with several truths coming to light: not only has my fiance’ been cheating on me, he’s been cheating with me with a woman, and he got her pregnant. Expect a reaction from him, that’s guaranteed, so be prepared for the fallout. Please have a bottle of Hen and a blunt on standby to get you through this.
Your fiance’ will definitely have questions, so be prepared to answer them honestly and without being defensive. After all, you are responsible for putting your relationship in danger, not your partner. Questions about your newly discovered attraction to women, the reason why you cheated on him, and besides vagina, was he not able to satisfy your desires. You will lose your fiance’s trust because of the cheating, so there’s a chance you might not regain his trust. It may take some time, if he chooses to stand by his man, because this pregnancy is a part of his life now as well.
Bottom line, communication is key. Honest communication and open dialogue with your fiance’ is what is needed at this time. Give your partner some space so he will be able to make the right decision for him and the status of the partnership. Whatever decision he makes, respect that and move forward with the task of fatherhood.
Good luck to you dude.
If you any questions about anything or just need my advice, send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org, with the subject line of “Yo Jimmie”. Of course, you will remain anonymous.