If you’re new to the site or unfamiliar with this segment, “Yo Jimmie” is where readers can ask for advice or any question they may have and I give my honest opinion. Keep in mind, I am no way a Dr. Sherry, Dr. Jeff, or Iyanla nor do I pretend to be. However, think of me as your good Judy or cool uncle who gives good ass advice and won’t steer you in the wrong direction. So if you have questions or need advice, you can hit me up on Twitter(@grabyajimmie), Facebook(Grabyajimmiedotcom), or email with the subject line, “Yo Jimmie” (email@example.com). You will remain anonymous but your question will be answered on the blog just like this reader’s.
I need your opinion on something that’s bothering me. I’ve been kicking with this guy for about two months and he’s been giving me mix signals. When we first started talking, he told me his past relationships ended because every dude he’s encountered played too many games or didn’t know how to treat him right.
For example, one guy he previously dated took several days to respond to his texts or phone calls. His last boyfriend allegedly didn’t appreciate the time and effort he put into their relationship and would constantly accuse him of cheating. After sharing his past experiences, I began to feel sorry for him and I wanted show him that I’m totally different from all the guys he used to dealing with. Or so I thought.
The same shit he alleges that other people have done to him, he’s currently doing to me. For example, I would call or text him on Friday to just say “Wassup,” but he doesn’t respond until Monday and then blames me for not blowing up phone. Another thing he does, he gets upset when I don’t compliment him because in his own words, “You should be lucky to have a nigga like me because everyone tells me I look like Trey Songz.”
Jimmie, I really like this guy and deep inside, he’s a sweetheart. However, I don’t think I can really deal with his behavior. What would you do in this situation?- Why He Wanna Play His Games On Me.
Why He Wanna Play His Games On Me,
First, thank you for writing into me.
Secondly, the late great Maya Angelou said it best, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them.” Clearly, this dude likes to play mind games and he’s hoping that you will fall for them. These types of dudes will always play the blame game: It’s always someone else’s fault the relationship ended, guys play too many games, etc. Sunshine Anderson, we’ve heard this all before.
However, this type seem to contradict themselves by displaying the same exact behavior they allegedly hate. In his eyes, it is your fault that he’s not responding to your messages and you’re playing too many game by not sweating him. He is also insulted by the fact that you haven’t told him how magnificent he is, after all, everyone tells him his gorgeous, beautiful, fabulous, blah blah blah.
Narcissistic much? He’s so into himself that he’s not even aware that he’s displaying the same behavior he allegedly hates. However, he’s notices that you’re not “jocking” him like the other guys and that’s a major problem for his self-esteem. You should be lucky that he acknowledges your existence. Translation: he’s on his own dick. Think Kanye and the IG thirst trappers. How dare you not tell him he’s great and his behavior is acceptable.
So what Jimmie do in this situation? Call him out on his bullshit. Let him know that you’re really into him but his behavior towards you is unacceptable. If he’s tired of people playing games, etc, he’s gonna have to stop playing mind games with you.
Also, let him know that you think he’s a wonderful guy and you are attracted to him. However, you are not one of his social media fans or followers. You are interesting in become his friend, maybe his lover, and not the president of his fan club. He doesn’t have to ride his own dick, you can ride it for him(LOL).
If he continues to be a jackass, chuck up the deuces and go on about your business as the old folks say. There’s plenty of people that’s worth getting to know without the hassle of dealing someone with the mental state of a Tyler Perry film. Meaning: he’s looking for sympathizers and admirers, not a lover. However, let that nigga know you’re done playing games with him. Good luck to you.
Why do you think some people play games when it comes to dating? What are some of your experiences with people who play games? Share your thoughts below. If you have questions or need advice, you can hit me up on Twitter(@grabyajimmie), Facebook(Grabyajimmiedotcom), or email with the subjectline: “Yo Jimmie”(firstname.lastname@example.org).