I believe everyone’s favorite month is May. It is the unofficial beginning of the summer season and every weekend, there is an event or celebration going on: graduations, cook outs, pool party, birthdays, divorces, or partying and bullshitting.
No matter what you’re celebrating, the main purpose is having a good ass time. However, they are some levels to attending or throwing the ultimate function. The right atmosphere, the right people, and the right libations are the requirements for the ultimate turn-up.
Unfortunately, I have attended several functions where two out of three requirements were noticeably missing. Whether it’s the grand and high sadity guests, verbal and physical altercations, or most importantly, the liquor and food runs outs within the first hour, these functions had everyone talking. And not in the “Girl, you shoulda been there” way, but in the “Girl, I shoulda stayed my ass at home” way.
Don’t worry kids, I will assist you in becoming the ultimate party guest and host. After all, I pride myself in being both(toots own horn). In my past life, I’ve hosted and planned several events including epic parties, cocktails and convos, and Boys Night Out gatherings. As a guest, I attempt to bring something to the event even if it’s bags of ice or just showing my gratitude for just being invited.
Being a gracious guest also includes declining events you’re really not featuring. If more than 10 people are invited to a dinner party at a restaurant or if a host is known for having chaos at their functions, I respectfully decline their invitations. Rather than to become Alessia Cara and think, “I didn’t want to be here in the first place,” I just stay my black ass at home.
With that said, I’ve listed 8 party/function tips that everyone from guests and hosts must implement for proper event etiquette. I’m channeling Karen Huger from the Real Housewives of Potomac by providing a list of etiquette rules because grown ass folks should know how to act a party. Unfortunately, some people haven’t been taught how to act so it’s my duty to do so.
8 Tips for Proper Party Etiquette:
-Always greet the host of the party especially if you don’t know them. NEVER walk into a room without saying hello and introducing yourself to everyone, including the party’s host. If you don’t, trust and believe, people will be talking about & side eyeing you the whole night about how you a rude ass bitch. First impressions are everything.
-Never come empty handed. If you’re attending a house party or cookout, make sure to always bring something: liquor, chaser, a bag of ice, etc. If you’re bringing a bottle, purchase alcohol that you would actually drink but do not overspend trying to impress. Translation: if you don’t drink Mr. Boston, don’t buy Mr. Boston for the party. However, don’t go out and buy Ciroc unless it was on sale. Here’s a tip: middle shelf alcohol(think:Bacardi, Jack Daniels, Absolut, etc) is the perfect choice for any function. A good size bottle is usually between $12-$20.
-Don’t show up to end of the party. If the event is scheduled to end at midnight, don’t show up at 11:30. Plain and simple.
-For hosts, please start on time. If your event scheduled to start at 8pm, make sure it starts at that time, not at 9:30. Don’t make your guests stand around like they’re at a Lauryn Hill concert because you’re running late or trying to find the right energy to at least serve them refreshments. If you are running late, make sure you start the party no later than 30 minutes after your original start time.
-If you’re hosting a dinner, keep your guest list to under 10 people. As I previously mentioned, I absolutely loathe attending dinner parties at restaurants. One of the reasons is the lack of interaction with everyone at the table. I believe 8-10 people is great number for any dinner party, so no one is feeling out of place and the host/honoree will be able to communicate with all the attendants.
-Leave your party pooper/ratchet friend at home. If you’re allowed to invite extra people to an event, please leave Debbie Downer, Bitter Betty, or Ratchet Renita at home. You know girlfriend is either going to complain the whole time or start some shit with someone because they’re bored. If you’re in denial about this friend, you’re probably that friend.
-Converse with someone you don’t know. Newsflash: it is okay to mingle with other people besides the people you came with. If you observe someone looking lost or feeling awkward, go mingle with that person and make them feel comfortable. You never know what may come out of it. In the same breath, stay off your damn phone and communicate with the people in the room.
-Last but not least, have a good damn time. My idol said it best: “We don’t need no hateration, holleration, in this dancery.”
If you follow my advice, you will have a good time. My next mission: is to get black people to actually wear swimwear and get in the pool at pool parties. After all, most of us(not me) are working on our summer bodies. Why not show it off. Happy Summer 2016!!!!!