I’ve Missed You Like Crazy: Where Have I’ve Been

Don’t call it a comeback, I’ve been here for years. It’s a new year and a new outlook on life, especially for this blog. I have some explaining to do.

At least three months have passed since my last written blog post and about two months since my podcast announcement. Where the fuck have I been? Why did I take a break from blogging? Where is this podcast? Like I said earlier, I have some explaining to do.

Where the fuck have I been? Simple answer: planning the next chapter of my life. That plan includes a career change and relocating to a new city within the next two years.  As the old gospel song says, getting my house in order.

Dallas, Texas was supposed to be the setting of my new chapter. I had visions of finding the Latino man of my dreams and we would eat fried chicken and arroz con pollo for the rest of our lives. Ideally, Dallas would be a change of scenery and I would be force to step out of my Atlantan comfort zone. However,  Dallas did not happen nor I do believe it will happen. For several reasons, Texas may not be the place for me.

For one, I don’t have any close friends or family in Dallas or its surrounding area. The one person I knew in Dallas moved and I didn’t want to be in a new city alone. After last year’s Club Pulse massacre, having family and/or friends nearby became a necessity for me. I want to live in a city where at least two people knows my name just in case something pops off.

The muthafucking presidential election was also a factor in my  Dallas reconsideration. Like many, I was also disappointed in the election results. Therefore, I had to rethink some shit. Texas is a huge ass red state. I currently reside in a red state. I need the blue state experience: less conservative and less confederate flags. I was raised as a southern gentleman(I was born in Cincinnati, Ohio). However, I want to experience living outside of the south as an adult.

DC, Charlotte, and the West Coast have been calling my name. I have family and friends in all those locations. Being around people who not only loves me but also gives a fuck about me is important. Truthfully, any damn place that offers me an excellent job with excellent benefits will be the place I move to.

Don’t get me wrong, I still love Atlanta. For the most part, the city has treated me well. However when it comes to opportunities and affordability, I believe that have I reached my personal and professional glass ceiling. Besides, I’ve been living in ATL since 2005 and I’m ready for new opportunities, possibilities, and a change of scenery.

So why haven’t I been blogging? The hard and honest truth: I’d become uninspired. Uninspired to write . Uninspired to even blog about being uninspired. Uninspired to even continue to blog in general.

As a writer, I look for inspiration in everything. Whether it’s listening to “Bad and Boujee” on repeat, birds chirping outside of my window, or the last time I busted a nut with another person,  I look for inspiration every where. However, I was uninspired to write  because I believed that everyone was mourning and it would be inappropriate for me to writing anything entertaining.

People were mourning over the election results. People were mourning over the deaths of several legends and icons such as Carrie Fischer and George Michael. I was even mourning over the death of my godfather. I didn’t want to write about sadness. I didn’t want to write about disappointments. I didn’t want to put out random bullshit because I pride myself on being authentic.

Authenticity. That is what is missing from blogging, social media, and from society. I base my whole livelihood on being authentic. I’m not just a paint by numbers, cut and paste, and follow the formula for hits type of blogger. If I was, my blogging style would be so easier to manage.

However, I don’t think like a blogger. I’m a writer. Everything I post and write, including the comic relief articles, are written from my heart, soul, and spirit. I chose not to talk about the elections, pop culture, or exposing people because my goal is to educate and entertain people at the same time with making lives better.

However, my blog numbers weren’t that great and as a blogger, that can be discouraging. Especially when you see people repost negativity all day.   So unlike Solange, I didn’t find my seat at the blogging/going viral table. A decision was made: fuck blogging and just concentrate to writing.

Watching this year’s Golden Globes inspired me to continue to write and blog. Donald Glover winning awards for tell his story for Atlanta. Another great story, Moonlight, winning the award for one of the best movies of the year. Even Issa Rae was nominated for being Insecure. Not to mention, all the other African-Americans who were nominated this year. They all were nominated for telling their stories. It gave validation that everyone has a story to tell.

I’m inspired to continue expressing my creative freedom and to present my stories unapologetically. I’m a firm believer in if you don’t hear your story being represented, it is up to you to write and represent it yourself. Going forward, my blog is going to be unfiltered, uncensored, and most importantly, 1000 percent authentically me.

Where is the podcast? It’s still in the work. I gotta workout some kinks before I present a podcast to the world. Those kinks includes learning how to write a podcast script(there is a HUGE difference in writing a podcast and a blog post), enunciate my words, and considering a co-host for the podcast.

For a co-host, I had few Atlanta based bloggers, vloggers, and social media socialites in mind. However after meeting with them, I discovered most of them wanted to do radio shows and focus on pop culture. Don’t get me wrong, I am not against radio or pop culture. However, those lanes are congested with everyone going that a route and that is not my ministry.

My brand is talking about everyday shit: Relationships, self-love, etc. If I choose to go the co-host route, our brands will have to connect, even if it’s pop culture. Excellent chemistry, being authentic, and connecting with our audience would have to be our main objective.

My goal is to release the podcast during the first quarter of this year. In the meantime, I have reached out and planning to continue reaching out to some of your favorite podcasts for a few guest appearances from yours truly. So hold on to your Gildan drawers because daddy is coming to your ears soon.

With that said, Thanks to everyone who have supported me and been patient with me. This year is going to be a great journey for us all.  Love ya’ll.

Editor Note: I want to dedicate this post to my godfather Douglas Goudy, who died in November 2016. Thank you for being the Juan to my Chiron. I will miss you and thank you for everything.