I’m going on record to say that Jill Scott can’t do no wrong in my book. I fell in love with her music when I was at the female strip club in Birmingham in the early 2000s. Girlfriend was gyrating to the beat and getting her g-string stuffed with dollar bills to “You’re Gettin’ in the Way.”
When I think of what black love is supposed to be, I think of Jill’s music. From cooking fish and grits for your dude in the morning, taking long walks and smoking blunts in the park after dark, to sipping Crown Royal on ice after having a hot and heavy lovemaking session. Grown up shit.
So when Jilly from Philly recently shared her relationship rules with ABC News Radio while promoting her new Lifetime movie, With This Ring, I had to say, “Girl, you know what? I have to agree with your philosophy.” She says she only dates a person for no more than a few months at a time.
“I’m older now so I see a little bit better than I did before. My longest relationships now are about nine months. Actually, now it’s grown to six months.There’s no need for me to waste my time or anybody else’s. I know by then. If you make it over the six month hump, you have done something. I must really like you, ” explains Jill.
Personally, I will only date a person for 3-4 months and my reasons are similar to hers. I’m a firm believer that most people will show their true colors after ninety days of dating.Similar to starting a new position at a new job, people will try to impress you by doing and saying things they believe you want to see and hear. Probation period. No days off or benefits.
After the probation period ends and their benefit packages are ready to be used, you start coming to work late, procrastination is your middle name, and other bad habits begin to show. In dating, you find out the person is a liar and undependable.
If you make it past four months with me, I really must like you and it goes beyond the sex. Not only have you kept my attention, but you’re also allowing me to gain new experiences. Potentially someone I would like to spend my life with.
Until that time, I’m going to continue to date months at a time and not waste my time, like Jill said, with anyone that doesn’t interest me. I’m not getting any younger. Sexier yes, but not any younger.