Throughout the year, I have a gathering with my good Judies called “Cock & Convo(aka Cocktails & Conversation),” where we get together and have guy talk (no girls allowed)and have uncensored discussions about various topics with strong ass alcoholic beverages flowing through our systems. Majority of the topics consists of sex, dating, sex, finances, and did I mention, sex. Sidenote: For those of you who’ve been asking about the next “Cock & Convo”, I will be hosting another one very soon.
One topic that comes up most often during C&C is dating and social media. Currently, we live in a world where everyone is a reality star via their Facebook/Instagram and their word is gospel(within 140 characters or less) on Twitter. Modern dating is no exception. You can find out anything about your potential bae based on their social media presence.
What are their views on current events such as the pool party incident or the recent church shooting in Charleston? Check their Facebook. Are they able to express their emotions openly and unapologetically? Follow them on Twitter. How often they do workout and what is their weekly meal prep. Check their Instagram feed. How does potential bae look butt ass naked? Locate their Tumblr page. Do they skeet or ooze? They’re doing it for the Vine. You are getting to know someone via smartphone and you don’t have to waste gas.
However, should you actually follow your partner on social media? I say hell to the nah. My ex-boyfriend introduced me to this idea while we were dating and his reasons stuck with me. At the time, we both had followings on our social media: me with my tweets about reality shows. Him on Facebook with his amateur porn pics. The reason why he didn’t want us to follow each other on social media: he did not want anything we put on our social media platform to become a threat to our relationship. And I can dig it.
If you’re already insecure with your relationship, social media will only magnify that insecurity. Giving someone a compliment or someone liking your thirst trap of a pic is gonna lead to unnecessary arguments in your already fragile relationship.
Here are 3 reasons why you shouldn’t follow and block your bae on social media:
1. It’s make your more secure with your relationship(or courtship). You have to treat social media like it’s going to the strip club: you know he’s going to look at other hoes and the hoes is gonna flirt with him but you gotta know he’s coming home to you.
2.It forces you to communicate with your significant other. No subtweets. No subliminal messages. No emojis. Just the old fashion way of communication..by actually speaking to each other. So old fashion of me. So irrelevant. How dare I suggest you actually speaking on the phone or opening your mouth to an actual human being?
Miscommunication is the number one killer of relationships and airing your dirty laundry on Facebook and Twitter only aides in the lack of communication. By not following your partner on social media, you don’t have the stress of wondering if that post is about you(that damn Trey Songz song is stuck in my head now).
3.You don’t want to be that couple that argues on social media. We all have seen those train wrecks of messages when couples break up and they start reading each other like it’s a reading competition hosted by LeVar Burton. See any tweet between Chris Brown and Karrueche. As hilarious as these messages are to your followers and haters, your dirty laundry is being published for the world to see. Rather than hoping on Facebook or Twitter to do a Kanye Rant about your relationship, take the time and reflect if this argument was even serious enough for your to air your grievances on social media.
If you still want to follow your partner on social media, I suggest creating a couple social media profile. Over the past year, as a single gal myself, I have enjoyed seeing couples expressing their love via social media. Whether its going to the Jazmine Sullivan concert, frolicking in the nude at Haulover Beach, or walking down the aisle, couple social media profiles is the simplest way you can let people know that you’re attached, in love and keep your boo on very short leach. #RelationshipGoals