For this month’s edition of “Yo Jimmie, Fix My Life”, we have a reader who is tired of hearing about his best friend’s sexual escapades and he need assistance in how to discuss this issue with his friend. Like always, I will try my damndest to give you my opinion and it is entirely up to you to follow my advice. Remember, if you have questions or need advice, just like this reader, you can hit me up on Twitter(@grabyajimmie), Facebook(Grabyajimmiedotcom), or email with the subject line, “Yo Jimmie” (email@example.com). You will remain anonymous but your question will be answered on the blog. Please note, this post is NSFW and you might want to check your undies in between readings.
I need your advice on how addressing an issue I’m having with one of my friends. He has a tendency to share all of his sexual escapades stories with me and it’s making me uncomfortable.
For example, one day we were hanging out and we saw this guy we use to see around in the clubs and my friend blurts out, “I sucked his dick on my way to class and dude nutted in my face,” Not only was I appalled by this story but it was also random as hell because we weren’t talking about sex at the time.
He also likes to tell me about how “he got beat out” by several guys and other explicit details about his sex life. Don’t get me wrong, I love talking about sex in a general sense. However, I find that my friend’s explicit tales are down right trashy.
Given, my friend is younger than I am and I remember being sexually adventurous at his age. However, I don’t remember being sexually explicit or going in detail about my sex life as he does.
Jimmie, how should I address this issue with my friend? I value your opinion and based on your advice in the past, I believe your advice will be helpful.-Freaky Tales.
These are the tales, the freaky tales. The tales that I tell so well. I had to get that out of my system before I give my opinion.Your friend is channeling his inner Too $hort and unlike $hort’s fans, you’re not interested in his freaky tales and that is understandable.
We currently live in a Vine/Tumblr/Snapchat voyeuristic world where everyone is not only embracing their sexuality orally(no pun intended) but also visually even if it’s only 10 seconds. The new generation of kids don’t believe in discretion because social media is the place where you share every aspect of life.
From my experience, anyone who shares every detail of their sex life is seeking attention from the listener. They’re hoping the listener getting intrigued by the stories and curiosity will set in. The listener will want to personally found out about the legend of the freaky tales, like does the storyteller suck or ride dick well as he says.
In other words, your friend may be sexually attracted to you and by sharing his freaky tales with you is his way in determining if you feel the same. His fantasy is that ya’ll smoke session will turn into a Dawgpound/Breed It Raw porn scene.
As the elder in this situation, you have to set the example and establish the friendship boundaries. You set the tone of what ya’ll can discuss on a friendship level. If you’re discussing sex, he’s going to discuss sex. If you’re discussing politics, he’s going to discuss politics, etc. Keep that in mind when you’re befriending someone who is younger. As elders, we are shaping and influencing their behavior and vice versa.
My advice is to tell your friend that you’re uncomfortable with his explicit tales and you would prefer not to here every detail. Let him know, however, you’re willing to talk about everything but you don’t need the highlight reel. Also, keep your sex talk to minimum. You have to set the example and establish the boundaries as the elder in this situation. Good luck and thanks for writing in.
What are your thoughts on someone who shares their sexual escapade stories with you? Share your story below. If you have questions or need advice, you can hit me up on Twitter(@grabyajimmie), Facebook(Grabyajimmiedotcom), or email with the subjectline: “Yo Jimmie”(firstname.lastname@example.org).